On being told, "Okay, maybe you can be LEGALLY Japanese. But you'll still never be accepted."

Licensed under Creative Commons Zero - CC0 terms

I have run this web site, along with over a dozen other authors and contributors, since 2010. During that time, according to both my personal email, this group's email folder, and other messages and posts from social media:

• I have exchanges emails, interviewed, and answered questions with over 300 different English speaking people who have become legally Japanese. This includes people of most English language speaking (first or second language) countries, including many in South America, eastern Europe, Russia, India, etc. These interactions are usually questions about naturalization, life post naturalization, and include the applicant's biography and concerns about the process.
• I have had lunch, dinner, or just a long coffee session at a cafe, personally, with about two dozen English speaking people who have become legally Japanese, which implies a deep conversation / interview of at least 45 to 90 approximate minutes.
• I have become "friends" (defined as met more than once, semi-regularly) with about four English speakers who became legally Japanese.
• Very, very, few of them are active on the open public "English social media internet". So you won't see the "assimilated" in the places where people converse in English, even if these people are residents of Japan. Because if you are spending too much time in the English internet, one could argue that you're probably not trying that hard to integrate or assimilate.

I think have personally met (both digitally and in real life) more naturalized Japanese who were not Special Permanent Residents — such as most 在日 {zainichi} (legally Korean but usually ethnically Japanese foreign national permanent residents) — than almost anybody in the world with the exception of immigration officers and municipal office workers.

Of these countless people I have met, they often end up mentioning this to me, either before naturalization or after:

"Isn't it weird how the only people that will tell you you can never really be Japanese or never be accepted... are non-Japanese — and Japanese that hang out with the expat community?"

This is something people often bring up with me almost every time naturalized people talk about their experience. It's a bit of an very inside joke. As in, most people who are accepted parts of their Japanese community will note to me that "the only people that have ever tell me I can't ever be accepted as a Japanese are non-Japanese — or Japanese-Americans or other Anglo-sphere people from the so-called global community.

And this is especially prevalent among: the bitter, jaded, and racially-politically active people", in that they will judge you for your decision and express their opinion on the matter even if you don't ask for it.

It is true that there is a "first impressions / preconceived notion" initial barrier to overcome with new people you meet — people initially judge by skin color and maybe by your accent initially. But if you actually:

• live in the real Japanese world (as in, communicate 100% in Japanese and participate primarily in real Japan society rather than the English digital bubble and expat scene)
• and your connection with that person persists and are quality connections based on your participation in society

There's always that one outlier.

then Japanese in Japan will, nine times out of ten, accept and treat you just like a (born ethnically) Japanese person; I'm qualifying my claim by excluding 10% to allow for the occasional racist which exists in every society.

Once Japanese people get enough time to know you past your skin color and accented Japanese — in other words, get past the "first impression" stage, then provided your language ability is fluent and intelligent and communication is smooth and effortless, they will assume that your life experiences in Japan can be the same as theirs and your opinions and thoughts count as "Japanese." They will no longer focus and concentrate on your foreign origins.

If you plan to (or can't help but) live a lifestyle where you don't plant roots and hop from employer to employer and home to home in Japan so it's Groundhog Day every day and every Japanese you meet is a first or close to first encounter, yes, you may never be "accepted."

As long as Japan is racially and ethnically 98%+ Japanese/Asian and 20,000,000+ tourists a year who can't speak a lick of Japanese keep visiting, that "first impression" obstacle to overcome will always exist. If you are impatient and triggered by this, please don't come to Japan. It's not for you. You will always get the English Menu or the "Can you use chopsticks?" and "Wow! You can speak Japanese!" from strangers for the rest of your life.

An interesting twist I've discovered from talking to naturalized people: the supposedly "non-racist" Japanese who agree that non-Japanese can never be accepted as ethnically Japanese or truly integrated are ironically the most "international": people with the best English and the most extensive English language friend networks within and outside of Japan and the most overseas experience. It's as if these "internationally minded" Japanese mistakenly learn from their English language expat network that becoming Japanese isn't possible, and expats in turn learn this prejudice from them and they count this as a "typical Japanese opinion" in their anecdotes: A vicious feedback loop.

It is also true that just because it is possible to be accepted doesn't mean that anybody can be accepted or integrated unconditionally. "Acceptance" and integration is earned, it's not an "identity politics" right like in the West these days. You cannot force or sue people to accept you. Just like everybody has the RIGHT to the pursuit of happiness and acceptance, that that right doesn't guarantee or entitle you'll be happy or accepted.

Thus, it is conceivable that there are some people, due to them just being social misfits, bad at foreign language mastery, unable to adapt, that can't "become accepted" — even if they really, really, want to be.

That's a very sobering thought to keep in mind: assimilation / integration into a foreign culture, and the prerequisite mastery of a foreign language very different from English takes years. It's really hard. It requires both intellectual and emotional stamina. Not just for a few years. It takes more like a half decade minimum. It will be the longest investment in time for something for most people in their lives... longer than their college education often. And to find out after all those years and tears... that despite wanting it bad, you "just don't have the [adaptable] social or language skills"... that's a huge chunk of your life you will never get back that perhaps were better spent (in terms of comfort) in the foreigner English digital and pub bubble.

Perhaps that is why some expats say it's not possible: it gives them an "easy out" and excuse for either:

• not trying to be accepted or integrate (which as I said, is a LOT of work with no guarantee of success),
• or trying and failing / giving up.

In conclusion, please remember that 99% of people who tell you it can't be done are merely speculating: they have never done it themselves and they don't know anybody who has (that can be considered normal and typical).